November 7, 2008

On November 7, 2008 Philip was declared our son in every legal sense. Words cannot adequately describe how I felt this day, but I will do my best.

Our court time was set for 2:00pm and the kids were out of school due to Parent/Teacher Conferences and so it was perfect. Grandma decided to join us at the courthouse to show her support. As she said, "I wouldn't miss it." It was an absolutely beautiful fall day. The sun was shining and it was crisp without being too cold. We loaded into our van and headed down to the courthouse. We arrived extra early and after sitting in the wrong hallway for 20 minutes, I realized my mistake and we found our way to the correct room. Luckily, we still had five minutes to spare. Our caseworker and our lawyer were there waiting for us and we filed into the courtroom. It was the first time I had ever been in a courtroom and I was very grateful it was under such happy circumstances. Matt and I were asked to hold Philip and then sit at the Plaintiff's desk. Our lawyer and caseworker sat at the Defendant's desk, while Michael, James, Anne and Grandma Charlotte sat behind us in the general seating area. Our lawyer explained how the process would work and brought the adoption papers over for us to review.

Our judge entered the room shortly thereafter and Matt and I were sworn in "to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God." The whole experience was a little surreal. We stated our names for the court and when it came time for Anne to say her name she absolutely froze and looked at me with pure terror in her eyes and said, "I don't know..." (Later, she told Grandma that she couldn't remember her middle name and she didn't know what to do.) While I didn't want her to feel afraid, her response was rather cute.

The judge then turned the time over to our lawyer who asked us some basic questions about our identity and then asked us how we felt about Philip. Matt went first and told the court how much we loved him and considered him to be our son. Then it was my turn, and I tried to express how much love and devotion I felt toward this little boy. I told the judge that I knew that God had led us to him and what joy and love he had brought into our home. I told her how much I loved him and how much my other kids loved him as well.

Our attorney asked Matt, and then me, if we understood that we would be Philip's parents with all of the rights and responsibilities pertaining to parenthood and we said yes. The judge then informed us that she had reviewed Philip's entire case as well as our home study and she thought that it was in his best interest to be our son.

A wave of gratitude washed over me and I started to cry at the realization that he was finally ours. I looked over at Matt and realized that he was crying too. We both felt so happy and peaceful. Our kids were absolutely beaming out of their seats and they couldn't wait to come and give Philip a hug. James said, "Now you are really my brother for ever and ever." It was so sweet.

After we signed the adoption documents we took a picture with the judge that declared us a family. Hooray!!!



"Oh no, I'm stuck with these guys forever..."




This post wouldn't be complete without me expressing my gratitude to my mom. We are so grateful for the consistent love and support she has shown us since the day Philip was placed in our home. It is amazing really, considering how much she had to open her heart (and risk it being broken), but she has loved Philip unconditionally. Her love for him has been a gift from Heavenly Father and I am blessed to have witnessed it. Consequently, Philip is drawn to Grandma Charlotte as much as she is drawn to him. What a blessing Grandma's can be.

Also, I must acknowledge my Heavenly Father's hand in this entire process. Matt and I are consistently amazed at how we were carefully led to this little boy. This heart changing process took us years to complete, but I know that Heavenly Father was the driving force behind it. He loves me, He loves Matt, and He loves Philip. He is accutely aware of my strengths and my weaknesses and I am grateful for His patience with me. I cannot adequately express the gratitude and love I feel for Him.